Living Alone.. Just how bad is it?

I have been living alone, by myself, since 1998. Alone,.. and just me. By myself.

I think somehow I started to get paranoid about everything and everyone... Doubting everyone and everything..

I know there is this guy, whom I think must be at LEAST ten years younger than me, who likes looking at me. He used to live in the block of flats next to mine, I think on the second floor, cuz some times, when I went to stand next to my beloved plants or talk on the phone, out on the corridor and look around, there he'd be, looking right at my 15th floor.

Stalker? I do not know.

He is a good looking man, though.. I dont know his name obviously, so I call him the fair,moustache-man in my mind.

He had since moved away, but he still lives in the same street. I know this because every time I am late to school, I see him walking on the opposite side of the road, still looking at me, sometimes nodding at me in acknowledgement.

THIS morning, I woke up at 530 am. I know that's crazy, right? Sunday. and 530 am. Anyway - it started to rain real heavy but stopped by 830 am. I REALLY didnt have any onions OR tomatoes, and my crisper section was bare, so off I went to the market... then it started drizzling, but only slightly.

I found some onions and tomatoes, but only just barely passable by my standards. I always insist on getting the best that I could possibly lay my hands on that I could afford. Siggghh ANYWAY -

As I returned, there still was some light drizzling, and I walked back home with a half smile on my face..

Suddenly, there was an umbrella on top of my head, and I turned to see who held the umbrella, a really big smile on my face. I had assumed it was one of my neighbours, or students, or their parents.. There are a lot of friendly people around my vicinity.

But no such luck.

It was fair, moustache-man!

And he smiled back.

Mere words could not begin to express the speed at which my heart beat at that moment. This was the closest I had ever come to standing next to fair, moustache-man.

I quickly walked way. As fast as I could.

Its 10 am now.

And I am starting to think, living alone has made me doubt everything and everyone.

He could just have been concerned and wanted to do something nice for a fellow human being. I do things like that all the time. Maybe he was doing that too.

So. Living Alone.. Just how bad is it?